Have you ever been told, “You’re out of my league”?
At first, it might sound flattering—a sweet nod to your beauty, intellect, or accomplishments.
But what if I told you it’s actually a red flag?
🔁 The Retrograde That Reopened Old Wounds
Recently, during one of those soul-level reflection periods (you know, the kind that always seems to hit during retrogrades), I came across a phrase that stopped me in my tracks:
“Call back your soul.”
It hit me deep.
Suddenly, old memories resurfaced—not to break me, but to free me.
🚩 The First Red Flag: Praise That Hides Insecurity
I thought back to my son’s father.
When we were dating, he’d often say how “different” I was from other women he’d been with. I had a steady job. Worked in an office. On paper, I was “better” than what he was used to.
He never said I was out of his league outright—but the message was clear.
And instead of rising to meet me, he started pulling me down. Slowly. Subtly.
Even after we broke up, our shared child gave him limited access to me—and he used it. Every chance he got, he insulted, belittled, or tried to humble me.
That’s a classic sign of an insecure man: someone who feels inadequate but punishes you for shining anyway.
🔄 The Pattern Repeats: A New Relationship, the Same Energy
Years later, I found myself in a relationship that mirrored the same emotional toxicity.
I met him during a vulnerable time—I was 28 and deep in a quarter-life crisis.
I hadn’t hit the milestones I thought I would by then: marriage, a two-parent home for my son, financial security.
I started questioning myself.
Maybe my standards are too high.
Maybe I’m asking for too much.
And that’s when he came along.
At first, he treated me like I was everything—because he believed I was out of his league.
But once we moved in together and he took over the rent, things shifted.
His compliments turned into critiques.
His encouragement masked manipulation.
He disguised emotional withholding as “helpful advice.”
🛑 The Power Plays That Tried to Break Me
One moment stands out.
We had a fight, and instead of talking it through, he took the bed out of our room and placed it in the living room. I was left to sleep on the floor.
He wanted to punish me for not apologizing. To make me feel like I needed him.
That bed wasn’t just furniture—it was a power play.
And although he never yelled or called me out of my name, the damage was done through other means:
- Passive-aggressive control
- Emotional manipulation
- Spiritual erosion
💡 The Moment I Took My Power Back
Ironically, it was one of his attempts to make me feel small that actually woke me up.
He mocked me for not budgeting. So I started tracking my finances—not to prove anything to him, but because I genuinely wanted to grow.
The idea was that we’d both track expenses and meet once a month to discuss household needs.
Of course, he never followed through.
But I did. And what I discovered?
I had leveled up.
I could afford our lifestyle on my own.
I no longer needed him.
Sixty days later, I was out.
🧠 Healing from the Emotional Damage
Even though I left, the scars didn’t disappear overnight.
That relationship stripped my confidence, my joy, my peace. It took time, tears, and intentional soul work.
Healing from toxic relationships is not linear—but it is possible.
You can come back to yourself. Stronger. Wiser. Whole.
⚠️ If He Says You’re “Too Good” for Him, Believe Him
To the women hearing things like:
“You’re amazing.”
“I don’t deserve someone like you.”
“You’re out of my league.”
Don’t romanticize those words.
Don’t stay hoping he’ll grow into the man you see in your potential-filled daydreams.
When a man sees you as out of his league—and he isn’t actively rising to meet you—he will try to pull you down. Slowly. Through:
- Passive-aggressive comments
- Power plays
- Manipulative “advice”
- Emotional withholding
💫 It’s Time to Call Back Your Soul
And if you’ve already lived through this dynamic, like I did—hear this:
You’re not broken.
You’re not too much.
You’re not unlovable.
You were dealing with a boy who couldn’t handle a woman.
But that ends now.
You’re calling your soul back.
And the version of you coming out on the other side?
She doesn’t chase.
She doesn’t settle.
She doesn’t apologize for her light.
She shines.
👀 Has someone ever complimented you in a way that felt more like a warning sign than praise? Let’s talk about it in the comments.
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