Sometimes life feels overwhelming, and you find yourself carrying more than you signed up for. But in those moments, learning how to be your own best friend can be the difference between self-sabotage and self-rescue.
A few months ago, I took a selfie after a long wash day. If you have natural hair, you know what kind of commitment that is — the detangling, the deep conditioning, the blow drying, the flat ironing — and in this case, a DIY haircut on top of it all. I was so excited about starting fresh with my hair and my ends had been struggling for a while.
It took hours. I followed YouTube tutorials, stood in front of the mirror with my shears, and finally snapped a photo to capture the moment I finished. A progress shot. A “before and after.”
But when I looked at the picture… I didn’t like what I saw.
When You’re Your Own Worst Critic
I didn’t see the effort I put in. I didn’t see my strength or patience. Instead, I saw wrinkles I didn’t know I had. I noticed the bags under my eyes — and then the bags under the bags. I zeroed in on every line in my forehead, every crease near my smile.
I didn’t feel like I looked like a 34-year-old woman. I felt like I looked old, worn out, and honestly… a little hideous.
I hated that photo. But I kept it.
The Turning Point
Six months later, I looked at it again. The criticism came rushing back — same photo, same insecurities. But this time, something in me shifted. I had a thought:
“What if this wasn’t a picture of me?
What if it was a picture of my best friend?”
What would I say to her?
Would I agree with her self-criticism and pick her apart? Would I point out her tired eyes and forehead lines?
Of course not.
I would give her grace. I’d remind her that she took that picture after hours of work. I’d say, “Of course you look tired — you were up at 4 a.m., you’ve been working nonstop, you spent the day doing your hair, you’re juggling motherhood, planning a birthday, finishing a long work week.”
I’d speak life into her — and mean every word.
How to Be Your Own Best Friend
That question led me to something deeper: how to be your own best friend.
Because the truth is, you are the only person who will be with yourself from your first breath to your last. Every other relationship is temporary in some way — even the ones we hold most dear.
Your relationship with yourself is the only one that’s permanent.
And yet, it’s often the one we treat with the least compassion.
Imagine If You Spoke to Yourself Like Your Best Friend
Imagine talking to yourself the way you talk to your closest friend on their worst day. Imagine extending the same patience, love, and encouragement you freely offer to others.
How would that change your confidence?
Your energy?
Your life?
This is what it means to practice how to be your own best friend — to see yourself clearly, flaws and all, and still choose kindness.
A Challenge for You
So here’s a gentle challenge:
Find that picture you don’t like. The one that makes you cringe. Open it. Look at it through the eyes of someone who loves you — the way you would look at your best friend.
Speak truth and grace over yourself. Acknowledge the hard moments you were navigating. Recognize how far you’ve come. Remind yourself of where you’re going.
And from this moment on, try living like your own best friend. Not just on the good days. But especially on the hard ones. Because you deserve that love from yourself first.
🖤 I’d love to hear from you
Have you ever had a moment like this—a picture, a memory, or a thought that made you check the way you speak to yourself?
Drop a comment below and share what you’ve learned about being your own best friend.
Let’s talk about it.