We’re taught to hold on to our goals. To chase them relentlessly. To believe that our dreams only come true when we put in enough time, effort, and hustle. But what if the secret to achieving your long-term goals is… letting them go?
I know it sounds counterintuitive, but stay with me.
Most of us have a running list of long-term goals — things we believe will help us level up in life. Maybe it’s learning a new language, running a marathon, or in my case, growing my hair down to my hips.
We hold on to these goals because we believe they’ll bring us something deeper: confidence, fulfillment, success, or connection. But what if we’ve already achieved the outcome we were seeking — just in a different way?
Why We Hold On to Long-Term Goals
Here’s the thing: goals are rarely about the goal itself. They’re about the feeling we think achieving it will bring. But sometimes we become so attached to the outcome that we lose sight of the “why” behind it.
Years ago, I heard an interview with Arianna Huffington that shifted my perspective. She once had a long-standing goal of learning a foreign language. Eventually, she let that goal go. In doing so, she realized something powerful: she didn’t actually want to speak the language — what she truly wanted was to connect with people from different cultures. And she found other ways to do that.
That story stuck with me.
When Goals Start to Feel Heavy
Recently, I found myself juggling several big goals. I kept pushing, striving, and doing all the “right” things. But instead of feeling motivated, I felt drained and uninspired.
That’s when I had a quiet realization: Maybe I was chasing accomplishments so hard that I forgot why I wanted them in the first place.
Let’s go back to my hair goal. I wanted long, healthy, full hair — not just for the look, but because I thought it would make me feel beautiful and confident.
But here’s the truth: I had already become that confident woman. I had found self-assurance through mindset shifts, healing, and personal growth. I was just so focused on the external representation of my goal that I didn’t recognize I had already arrived.
A New Way to Set (or Release) Goals
If this resonates with you, here’s a simple process to explore whether it’s time to let go of one of your long-term goals:
- Reflect on a goal you’ve been holding onto for a long time.
- Ask yourself: Why do I want this? What feeling or experience am I hoping to gain?
- Look closer: Have I already achieved that deeper desire in another way?
- Celebrate the win: Write a letter to yourself acknowledging that you’ve fulfilled the outcome — even if it looked different than expected.
- Release the goal with gratitude. This isn’t giving up — it’s evolving.
When we release outdated goals, we make space for new ones that align with who we are now. We open the door to fresh opportunities, deeper fulfillment, and more authentic success.
You’ve Already Achieved More Than You Realize
So take a deep breath. Let go of the old bucket list items that no longer serve you. Trust that you’re exactly where you need to be — and that life is still unfolding in your favor.
You’re already so much closer to the life you want than you think.You might already be living the outcome you once thought a goal would bring.
Have you ever let go of a goal and found peace or clarity on the other side? Share it in the comments — your story might inspire someone else.